A bit of a restlessness, some would say.
However, I am also at peace, given that it is the holidays and all-- I have a reason for my doing-nothingness.
But I don't want to do nothing. I want to do something remarkable, something to be proud of.
I want to wander through woods, paint on trees, then paint on my skin, and maybe even on a canvas.
I want the people I love to know that I love them, and I want to be able to know that there are myriads of people that I truly do love.
I love my family. I really like them too. I have been truly blessed with the loveliest home in their hearts. So, moving back into the same house as mom and dad has been wonderful. It's refreshing and I feel at rest. They try to give me space, and I respect theirs as well. But there's something about being at this age that makes me want to jump ship sometimes. I wish that I was stable enough, financially, to move into my own place. I would invite over all of my cool twenty-something friends, we would talk about Jesus over beers and hot cocoas, and I would have Christmas lights strung throughout my quaint space. I would be a yoga-teaching-massage-therapist and I would wear lipstick and it would be great. Unfortunately, I'm not there yet. Fortunately, I'm not there yet. That's not where I'm supposed to be, otherwise I'd be there already. Where I'm at is okay.
It's all just swell and I need to learn how to appreciate this time in its fullness. My little fingers need to hold hands with it, firmly, like I mean it. I'll never have a time like this in my life ever again-- I'm unemployed, living with mom and dad, I don't have to pay for anything, I can go to yoga pilates crossfit etc, I get to play with my adorable nephew, I live in a huge lovely house with two beautiful pups, I live near some friends still, Kentucky is a mystery, and this is all great. Buck up and buck wild, girl. This is a good life.
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